Several of my male readers had absolutely no problem in grasping the dishwasher conundrum (no surprises here). And, being male, they also try to find solutions. For those readers, I have compiled a list of some of the options considered at some point in time by every male that shares custody of a dishwasher with a female.
1. Don't touch the dishwasher with a ten-foot pole. Ever.
2. Follow the "clean up your own shit" rule, i.e. whoever loads the dishwasher also has to unload it.
3. The male loads the dishwasher, the female unloads it.
4. Whoever has time loads the dishwasher, and the male rearranges everything according to his own logic before flipping the switch. This can be done furtively, in the small hours of night, or in broad daylight, depending on your respective characters (and especially, whether she cares if you do this).
5. Explain why you load the dishwasher the way you do, and hope that she will start doing things the proper (= your) way.
Option 1: Nice in theory, but not really feasible for most family men nowadays. Expect an expensive divorce.
Option 2: Good, fair solution, that may or may not work, depending on both of your schedules. And in addition, it requires considerable restraint, because you are not allowed to rearrange anything, or make any comments.
Option 3: Another good and fair solution which again depends on your respective schedules.
Option 4: A practical but not very satisfactory solution in the long run, because after a while you will start resenting having to do this, and blame her for it. (Why can't she just ...?)
Option 5: dream on. You might be able to achieve some improvement, but in the long run, she will resent you for it, because of your paternalistic attitude and the presumption that you know best.
Which only confirms my earlier moral of the story: dishwashers ... can't live with 'em, can't live without em.
Or maybe you can, but chances are, your partner will not even discuss that last option (life without a dishwasher).
1. Don't touch the dishwasher with a ten-foot pole. Ever.
2. Follow the "clean up your own shit" rule, i.e. whoever loads the dishwasher also has to unload it.
3. The male loads the dishwasher, the female unloads it.
4. Whoever has time loads the dishwasher, and the male rearranges everything according to his own logic before flipping the switch. This can be done furtively, in the small hours of night, or in broad daylight, depending on your respective characters (and especially, whether she cares if you do this).
5. Explain why you load the dishwasher the way you do, and hope that she will start doing things the proper (= your) way.
And now for a reality check.
Option 1: Nice in theory, but not really feasible for most family men nowadays. Expect an expensive divorce.
Option 2: Good, fair solution, that may or may not work, depending on both of your schedules. And in addition, it requires considerable restraint, because you are not allowed to rearrange anything, or make any comments.
Option 3: Another good and fair solution which again depends on your respective schedules.
Option 4: A practical but not very satisfactory solution in the long run, because after a while you will start resenting having to do this, and blame her for it. (Why can't she just ...?)
Option 5: dream on. You might be able to achieve some improvement, but in the long run, she will resent you for it, because of your paternalistic attitude and the presumption that you know best.
Which only confirms my earlier moral of the story: dishwashers ... can't live with 'em, can't live without em.
Or maybe you can, but chances are, your partner will not even discuss that last option (life without a dishwasher).
Excellent entry! Wasn't it Eleanor Roosevelt who said:
ReplyDelete"Great minds discuss diswashers; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people"
I couldn't agree more!